Finding Me

What do I really want in my life?

I don't really know for sure. Do I want marriage? Healthy relationship? Kids? Wealth? Him? I don't know. The fact is nobody knows what he/she wants until he/she gets it. Have you ever feel that you really want something but when you finally get that thing, all you can think of is how to get rid of it as you've lost your interest on that thing. Have you? I know I have.

That's my fear. Fear of not knowing that it's the right thing/decision/person. Like, you know deep down there's always better thing meant for you out there. That you can actually achieve more than what you have today.

For example, situation one -

That dress I saw in Ted Baker's window display. Deep purple with deep low cut neckline. So gorgeous, and I know how great it will look on me. But I could never afford it. Until one day, I saw that there's a 50% off for that purple dress. I should have taken it isn't it? But I hesitated instead, thinking that there could be other dress that is much better than that purple Ted Baker dress. I forgot that at any other time I would never ever be able to afford that dress in its original price tag though.

Was is greed? Or threading in the water a bit too carefully? I should enjoy life and follow my instinct, to pursue what I want, even if sometimes I might think it's not the wise thing to do. But what is it that you want to achieve in life? Satisfaction? Happiness? Or sense of security?

Jeng jeng jeng...

To follow your instinct - that's a race to happiness

To follow your dream - that's a pursuit to satisfaction

To follow your fear - that's an attempt to security

To follow your sense of logic and morality - that is a journey to insanity!

So which one will you choose?